


For All Of My Ghosts

by starlightened



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 22:54:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6169939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightened/pseuds/starlightened
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Spoilers for In Sheep's Clothing) Hancock finds out that McDonough is a synth and tries once again to run from his problems. But this time, Nora won't let him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For All Of My Ghosts

It all happened so fast.

One second, Nora was screaming at him to hand her a stimpak before poor Danny Sullivan bled out, and then the agonizingly slow elevator ride up to McDonough’s office, to Piper nearly breaking every bone in her foot trying to kick that god damn door open, to this.

His brother was a synth.

The words echoed in Hancock’s mind, coming to a crescendo as Nora deftly picked the lock and the doors swung open. He knew that there was commotion happening around him, but his feet felt like they were made of lead. Hancock felt like he was drowning—all the sounds around him seemed muffled, time slowed, and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get air into his lungs.

“That’s far enough!” he heard that all-too familiar, and yet completely foreign voice declare. The sound snapped John out of his state of shock. As soon as his eyes zoned in on McDonough pointing a pipe pistol at Nora, all he saw was red.

 _No one threatens_ my _girl. Especially not you._

“Help me!” Geneva, the timid blonde haired secretary begged, on her knees with her arms outstretched. Tears streamed down her face. “He’s crazy!”

“I’m not just going to be discarded and tossed to the wolves,” McDonough snarled. “I’m the mayor, goddammit!”

“Mayor McDonough,” Nora’s gentle voice eased. “I can help you, but not when you’re holding a hostage.” Her voice became firm. “Let her go.”

A pained expression crossed his face. It seemed like he was weighing his choices. “Oh…alright. She can go.” He lowered his gun momentarily to let Geneva scurry out of the office, nearly tackling a Diamond City security guard as she bolted to the elevator. McDonough raised his gun again. Hancock felt a wave of fury wash over him. “Now I’ll tell you what’s going to happen next. I’m walking out of this city. Unharmed. With my dignity intact.”

Hancock couldn’t hold back a loud scoff. “What dignity? You lost that the second you left all those ghouls to die when you became mayor.”

“Keep out of this, John,” McDonough barked, pointing the pistol at him. “I’m not afraid to shoot my own brother.”

“You’re not my brother!” Hancock roared, raising his shotgun to aim at McDonough’s face. Nora quickly put her hand on the barrel and lowered it, trying her best not to get the situation out of control. The look in her eyes pleaded with him to let her handle it, but Hancock couldn’t stop his hands from shaking, his finger hovering just above the trigger in case McDonough tried anything rash.

“You’re not getting off the hook that easy, McDonough!” Piper snapped, her pistol aimed at the mayor. “You have to answer for what you’ve done.”

McDonough didn’t budge. “I’m either walking out of this city a free man, or I’m killing as many of you…disgusting, filthy savages as I can!”

Then the gunfire started. Hancock raised his shotgun again and aimed it at McDonough’s face. He looked down the barrel at the man who he had once called ‘brother’. He was ready to shoot—McDonough clearly didn’t care who in the room died, as he was firing like a madman—but for some reason, he couldn’t pull the trigger. 

Even though this version of the mayor was a synth, Hancock’s mind couldn’t let go of the memories that he and his true brother had shared as children—playing together in the irradiated water, his big brother shoving tatos down his shirt and slapping him on the back. Even though this man was an imposter, he just couldn’t do it. He fucking hated him. Fucking hated him more than anything in the world, but he just couldn’t bring himself to kill the only thing even close to family that he had left in this fucked up, wasted world.

In the end it was Nora who ended McDonough’s life. Hancock overheard Piper talking to her on the other side of the room, but he wasn’t really listening. His eyes were trained on his dead brother’s body, lying in a pool of blood that looked so fucking real that it made his skin crawl. He walked towards it slowly, looking down at the corpse. He saw the synth component bulging from the spot in his head where Nora’s bullet had passed through and sighed.

He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of where his nose used to be. He was not going to cry. Not over this.

“Hey,” Nora’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. She gently placed a hand on his shoulder, gently rubbing small circles into the fabric. “Are you okay?”

Hancock placed his hand over hers, stilling her movements. The warmth and smoothness of her skin beneath his was a comfort, but he shook his head. 

“So the Institute replaced him with a synth after all,” he finally said, his voice quiet and small, smaller than Nora had ever heard before. “How many years was I angry at that bastard for the wrong reasons?”

Nora was quiet for a second, the question hanging in the air between them in a thick silence. Wordlessly, she pulled him into her arms, her hands gently grazing the back of his neck. His arms looped around her waist and he held onto her tightly. He felt so lost. So fucking lost. And he only knew one solution.

“I have to go back to Goodneighbor.” 

Hancock didn’t wait for her response. He tore himself away from Nora’s grasp and headed straight for the elevator. He kept his eyes glued to the ground, afraid that if he were to look up at her, he would see the disappointment in her eyes. He hated himself for this, hated his cowardice and the guilt that weighed in his stomach like an anchor, but he couldn’t stop his legs from moving. 

Once he reached the ground floor, Hancock burst into a full sprint out of Diamond City’s gates. Goodneighbor wasn’t far, and by now he knew all the shortcuts to get back to his beloved city. The sky had grown dark by the time he reached those familiar dilapidated walls, the neon sign washing over his ruined face like a holy light.

_I’m home._

——————

“You gonna go after him, Blue?” Piper asked gingerly as Nora looked out of the former mayor’s office window at the panic-stricken city below. Word had travelled fast that McDonough was a synth, and people were more scared than ever. _Myrna was probably having an aneurism,_ Nora thought to herself.

She sighed. “I don’t know,” she replied after a pause. “Do you think I should?”

“Hey, don’t look at me,” Piper shrugged, her hands up. “The guy just found out his brother was replaced by a synth, and who knows how long ago that happened. Christ…if I had found out that Nat was a synth and then had to watch her die? I don’t know what I would do.”

Nora cast her eyes to the ground.

“But hey,” Piper put a hand on her shoulder. “I know how crazy you two are about each other. You’d have to be an idiot not to see the way he looks at you.” Nora’s eyes came up to meet Piper’s. “Honestly. He gets all googly-eyed. And the guy’s eyes are entirely black, so that’s a feat.”

Nora let out a small laugh, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Thanks, Pipes.”

Piper shrugged. “Don’t mention it. But really though, are you gonna go after him?”

The frown returned to Nora’s face. “I think he needs some time to think,” she concluded. “He’s gone through a lot. He’s probably devastated…I don’t want to get in the way.”

Piper looked as if she was literally biting her tongue. She rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet. Nora glanced at her, eyebrow cocked.

“Got something else you wanna say, Pipes?”

She chuckled. “Well, always. But you know, sometimes in situations like these, you need to be around people who care about you for support. I don’t know if Hancock has ever had anyone like you in his life before. He just might not know how to ask for help when he needs it most.”

Nora ran a hand through her hair, closing her eyes to think for a minute. She knew that Piper was right. And Nora loved Hancock too much to let him go through this alone.

“Alright,” she finally said. “I’m going after him.”

—————

Hancock’s laughter sounded hollow in his ears. He was sitting in the Third Rail, jet inhalers scattered on the table in front of him. His arms were stretched out over the back of the couch, and he was laughing at some stupid joke some drifter was making. His reception back into town had been as expected, with people practically throwing themselves at his feet, so relieved to see him pass through the gate. So naturally, they threw him a party.

Magnolia’s dulcet tunes were wafting in the air, and Hancock was desperately trying anything to keep himself focused on his high. Fahrenheit was seated next to Hancock, eyeing him curiously.

He looked over at her, hopefully not too blearily. “W’sup, Fahr?”

“Nothing, Boss,” she drawled, as if she had all the time in the world. “Just wondering what you saw out there while you were away.”

“S’not important,” he muttered, reaching for another new jet inhaler.

“Maybe you should ease up, Boss,” Fahrenheit warned, her usually cold voice laced with the smallest amount of concern.

“Hey, this is my town, and my town is a no-judgment-zone,” he growled, his grip on the inhaler like a vice. “If my own bodyguard is gonna start breakin’ the rules, then what’s the fucking point?”

Fahrenheit eyed him curiously, an eyebrow raised. But she dropped the subject.

Hancock rested his head back against the couch and closed his eyes.

 _Yeah,_ he thought. _This is working._

—————

When Nora arrived in Goodneighbor, she knew exactly where Hancock would be, but she felt like she would ask around anyway. Daisy told her she would find her beloved mayor in the Third Rail. She had also said to get there fast, because Hancock said that drinks were on him and he’d surely run out of caps by now.

She made her way to the underground establishment, greeting Ham as she walked in. He tipped his hat at her and she flashed him a small smile before heading down the stairs.

The Third Rail was pretty crowded with bodies shoulder to shoulder, some of them watching Magnolia’s set, others chatting with drinks in hand, and another crowd doing chems by the couches. Nora spotted the familiar tricorn and headed over to where her ghoul, the love of her life, was sitting.

She’d only seen him from behind, but the way his head was lolling back and forth, and how his shoulders slumped with every reach of his jet inhaler, she knew what he was trying to do.

Nora stepped into his line of sight and crossed her arms over her chest. Hancock bristled, but pretended not to notice that she was standing right in front of him.

“John.”

He took another hit.

“John, please look at me.”

“Whaddaya need, sister?” he finally asked, still not looking her in the eye.

Nora was getting frustrated. “John, can I talk to you? Privately?”

She saw his jaw clench and unclench, but finally, he stood. “Keep the party goin’, everyone,” Hancock declared to the crowd. “Tell Charlie to keep the booze flowin’.”

There was a round of cheers as Nora led Hancock upstairs and outside, her heart pounding in her ears. When they got outside, like some pathetic excuse for a bad movie, it started to rain.

Nora pulled Hancock into the alley beside the Third Rail so they could talk somewhat privately. An overhang from one of the windows gave them minimal shielding from the rain, but neither of them really cared.

“Hey,” she put her hand on his arm, gently squeezing his bicep. “Are you okay?”

He shrugged out of her grip. The flicker of sadness that flashed in her eyes made Hancock’s heart clench. “I’m fine,” he replied gruffly. “Never been better.”

Nora sighed, looking down at the ground for a second. Hancock was convinced she was about to concede defeat and walk away when she looked back up to meet his gaze.

“You don’t have to do this by yourself, you know,” she finally said. “We’re partners, John. Please, just let me help you.”

“I don’t need your help,” he snapped, louder than he meant to. Nora flinched back, as if she was scared he was going to hit her. “Look,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I get what you’re trying to do, doll. I really do. But I just…I need to do this on my own.”

“Do what?” her voice was wavering. “Get high so you can forget about your problems? Get drunk so that you don’t have to face what’s actually going on in your life?” Nora shook her head. “You can’t keep living this way.”

Hancock was suddenly furious. “Who the fuck do you think you are, tellin’ me how to live my life?” he seethed, pointing a finger at her accusingly. “You’ve been defrosted for what, a few months? I’ve had to live in this fucking wasteland my whole life, and now my only family is gone. Shit, my only family’s been gone for God knows how long. You don’t have any right to tell me how to feel or how to deal with it right now.”

Nora’s eyes widened. “ _I_ don’t know what it’s like?” she scoffed. Hancock couldn’t tell if it was rain drops streaking her cheeks or if she had started to cry. “John…I watched my husband die. My baby is gone. I woke up to find a world where everyone I knew, everyone I loved, was just…” she shook her head, wiping her eyes. _So she had been crying._ “Nothing made sense in this fucked up new world until I met you,” she confessed, her hand coming up to rest against Hancock’s cheek. “Please don’t push me away.”

Hancock instinctively leaned into her touch, but then recoiled. “Don’t make this about you,” he said, barely above a whisper. He knew it was the wrong thing to say, the wrong thing to do, but he couldn’t help the words from coming out of his mouth. He couldn’t bear to look at Nora’s heartbroken face any more, so he turned and started walking towards the Old Statehouse, leaving Nora behind in the alley.

As he closed the door behind him, literally shutting her out, he silently hoped she would come after him.

It took Nora a few minutes until her body allowed her to move again. She stared at the door of the Old Statehouse, a million thoughts running through her head. She knew what Hancock was doing and why he was doing it. He’d grown up in a world completely different than the one she’d experienced—he’d grown old faster than he should have, seen things she could have never imagined and had to deal with so much guilt and so much suffering that he just couldn’t cope with it any other way.

But she also knew that deep down, he had wanted her to follow him. Hancock had little tells, small actions that he did subconsciously that Nora had picked up on when they’d first started travelling together. Whenever she offered to help out a settlement or gave some of her food or purified water to someone who needed it more, she noted how the right side of his mouth would twitch up into a slight grin. She also noticed that whenever he was upset or unsure of himself, he would avoid looking her in the eye. And she never missed that little glint that appeared whenever she caught him staring, whether it was after clearing an area of raiders, or just waking up next to him in the morning…it was love.

Nora sighed deeply and shivered, her clothes sticking to her skin as the rain fell a little harder. She knew what she had to do, but she was still scared. She remembered feeling this way when she’d first told Hancock about her blossoming feelings.

_A rad storm had rolled in from the Glowing Sea. Nora and Hancock scurried as fast as they could to a nearby abandoned house and decided to set up camp for the night. There was no use trying to set up the radio beacon with irradiated rain water pouring down on them._

_Hancock had started a makeshift bonfire in an old metal bucket while Nora set up the bedrolls for the evening. They shared a meal of brahmin steak and corn, Nora watching with fascination as the dark green sky loomed ominously above them._

_“You know, it’s kind of pretty,” she admitted, looking out the window._

_“Yeah,” Hancock agreed, although he was looking right at her. “Beautiful, in fact.”_

_Nora turned to him and caught his eye, her face immediately flushing._

_He cleared his through a bit. “Nora,” he began. “I just wanted to say…I just…” he seemed, for the first time in his entire life, to be at a loss for words. He looked away for a second out of insecurity before looking back at her. Her smile made his stomach flip, a feeling he hadn’t experienced in a long damn time. “I just wanted to say that being here with you, it’s the best decision I ever made. I’m really glad that we’re friends.”_

_“Is that what we are?” she asked, almost immediately, in a quiet tone. “Just friends?”_

_He laughed. “Am I that obvious?” Hancock moved to sit closer to her, so that their legs were just barely touching. “Well, you know, I have been having…rather impure thoughts lately.”_

_Nora grinned cheekily. “You’re not the only one.”_

_Hancock’s eyes glinted mischievously. “Maybe we’ll get to…act on those.”_

_He was about to say something else when he was abruptly cut off by Nora’s lips firmly pressing against his. Whatever he was going to say, he’d completely forgotten about it as soon as she pulled her shirt over her head._

Nora shivered at the memory. Or maybe it could have been the rain, making her clothes stick to her skin, her hair matting against her face. She finally managed to get her legs to move, her intentions clear and her path drawn before her. 

The usual guards that stood all around and inside the Statehouse seemed to have vanished, most likely told by Hancock to head down to the Third Rail for free drinks in order to get some privacy. Nora noted the eerie silence throughout the entire building as she entered, her hand reaching in the dark for the railing of the spiral staircase up to Hancock’s office.

When she made it to the second floor, the door was shut, but there was a light peering through the cracks. She knew Hancock was inside, probably taking hits of jet and trying to forget everything that had happened that morning.

She raised her hand to the door, hesitating. Gently, she knocked three times.

“John?”

Silence.

“John, I know you’re in there,” she called. “I just want you to know that I’m…I’m sorry for yelling. I’m sorry about your brother, and I’m sorry that you have to go through all of this. But…I love you. You know that. And I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to go through this alone. You just need to let me in.”

From inside his office, Hancock lifted his head from his hands. He’d been sitting on his couch, so angry with himself and his reaction to what Nora had said outside in the alley. He’d pushed the only good thing in his life away like a fucking idiot. She was trying to save him from drowning, and he’d ignored her pleas, letting himself sink. 

But there she was, the best thing that had ever happened to him, outside his door, begging him to let her in. He knew that she was speaking about more than just being allowed entrance into his office. He knew that she loved him, and even though he loved her more than he’d ever expected to love anyone in his lifetime, he’d always kept part of himself away from everyone else. That vulnerable side that was weak and fragile, the one that let those ghouls die in Diamond City when his brother—or his synth counterpart—had come into power.

He wasn’t sure if he would ever find anyone who would accept that part of him, the demons he carried and the scars that he bore. But there she was, just outside his door, gently knocking and asking for his permission.

Nora was about to give up and walk away when the door slowly opened. Hancock towered over her in the doorway, his eyes dark with sadness, his tricorne abandoned on the end table. For once, she noticed, there were no chems on the table. He moved aside to let her in. She gave him a half smile and walked into his office, rubbing her arms for warmth. 

“Jesus, you’re freezing,” Hancock muttered, taking off his ancient coat and draping it over her shoulders. He led her over to the couch and she sat down. He took the seat beside hers and she looked into his eyes, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

“Look,” he finally began. “This is…this is hard for me. You never expect someone you know to be replaced by a synth, you know? And to have been holding this grudge, all this hatred towards someone for so long, just to find out it wasn’t actually them…that I’d wasted all that time when I should have been looking for my brother…”

Nora reached out and grazed his cheek with her fingers, and this time Hancock didn’t withdraw. She wrapped her arms around him and just held him for a while. Hancock held onto her for dear life, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck. Her wet clothes were seeping through his, cold against his textured skin, but he didn’t care. He’d put up all these walls and they’d crumbled at her feet while she worked on slowly putting the pieces of his heart back together. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten so lucky.

“I love you,” he breathed, taking in her scent. He pulled away and held her face in his hands, his eyes searching hers for any sense of doubt. When he was certain there wasn’t any, he drew her in and pressed his lips against h

Nora sighed into the kiss, drawing her body even closer to Hancock’s. A shiver ran down her spine as his fingertips ghosted over her jawline, his tongue slowly swiping across her lower lip. She mewled at the first contact, his touches and movements so languid and slow. It was almost as if he thought she might disappear from beneath his palms, and so he needed to savour her as best he could, before the mirage disappeared forever.

Her questing fingers found the buttons of his frilled shirt and slowly began to work them open. She felt him growl slightly against her lips as her smooth hands came to rest on his ridged chest, exploring the topography of his skin.

“Nora…” he breathed against her lips, panting as they briefly parted. Nora simply grinned against his mouth in response, working on the rest of his shirt’s buttons as he got busy trying to peel the dampened garments off Nora’s body.

It wasn’t long before they were both naked on the couch, with Hancock nestling himself between Nora’s thighs. She knew he needed this right now, and truthfully, she did as well. She loved him so completely, so entirely, and she wanted nothing more than for him to know it.

She felt his stiffened length poking the inside of her thigh and looked up at her ghoul, a small smile on her face, biting the edge of her lip. The way Hancock was looking down at her, as if she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, made her heart flutter. She gave him a small peck and a nod, and watched the look of ecstasy pass over his features as he pushed his way inside of her.

Nora tried her best to keep her eyes on his, though the sensation of his hips undulating and slapping against hers was just too much. His hands roamed over her skin, doubling the sensations spreading throughout her sensitive body. As he thrust himself to the hilt, her back arched off the couch with a moan. Hancock slipped his arms under her and pressed the length of her body against his as they made love, whispering that he loved her into her ear while she placed soft kisses to the column of his neck.

Soon Hancock felt Nora start to quiver beneath him, her inner walls beginning to flutter. “John,” she panted, clawing at his back as she felt herself approaching the edge. And then she broke like an egg, her head thrown back as her orgasm came over her like a tidal wave. Hancock pressed a kiss to her lips as she cried out, swallowing her moans of pleasure as she clamped down around his considerable length.

Nora’s body fell limp against the couch as Hancock chased his release. She took his face in her hands and kissed him as he pounded into her. “I love you,” she whispered against his mouth, as his thrusts became erratic.

“I love you,” he promised in return, before bottoming out and spilling inside of her with a throaty moan.

Hancock collapsed on top of Nora, both of them breathing heavily, trying to slow the racing of their pulses. Hancock shifted his weight so as not to crush her, the two of them lying side by side on the couch, bodies still pressed firmly together.

Nora was smiling so sweetly at him, still basking in the afterglow of her climax. Hancock felt his heart pounding in his ears from just the sight of her like this, all his, looking at him as if he hung the moon and the stars in the sky.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he finally said. “I never thought I would find someone like you. I thought I’d be wasting away in this world alone.” He paused for a second, brushing a loose strand of hair out of her face. “Thank you. For everything.” 

A blush crept onto her face, and she leaned in to kiss him. “You won’t ever have to be alone again,” Nora promised. “Just…don’t be afraid to let me in.”

Hancock nodded and buried his face into the side of her neck. He had never been more sure of anything in his entire life. For the first time since he became a ghoul, since even before that, he felt at peace. With Nora by his side, the world didn’t stand a chance.


End file.
